The Top 10 Reasons We’re Not Spies (they said)

by 24 May 2011

Acquaintances have speculated, over the years, that Kent and I are actually secret agents of the US Government.  We’d like to allay everybody’s suspicions and lay the rumors to rest once and for all!

The Top 10 Reasons We’re Not Spies

10. Think about it. Spy on France? We’re NOT about to go to war with France. They’re getting more like us everyday – they can’t even smoke in public anymore.

9. The other location we frequent regularly is the British Virgin Islands, and we already won that war.

8. Heather’s secret weapon would be, um, cooking in field conditions?

7. Although Kent’s April 2011 trip oversees eerily coincided with the deployment of CIA operatives in Libya  (as noted by his fellow Beaver Creek Race Department employees), he was actually in rural France, not rural Libya. We have photos to prove it.

6. Spies are actually on the Department of Agriculture’s payroll, not NASA’s.

5. So what if Osama Bin Laden was captured exactly 10 days after Kent returned to work at NASA after spending the winter in Colorado?  Correlation isn’t causation.

4. We are two of the worst poker players we know. Spies are great at poker, right?

3. Heather might be good with gadgets, but she’s not that good.

2. The shoe phone won’t fit in flip-flops.

1. James Bond would own a faster boat!

Categories
The Adventures of Kent and Heather, Unexcused Philosophy

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7 Responses to “The Top 10 Reasons We’re Not Spies (they said)”

  1. David Goldstein says:
    May 24, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    Thanks for clearing this up. I’ve known you both for a while, been reading about your adventures, and now it all makes sense – that you are spies.

  2. Davis Gentry says:
    May 24, 2011 at 5:30 pm

    Uh huh.. How about ” I remember Kent purchasing a lovely designer suit to wear at a series of black tie events”??? Do you own an Aston Martin, too? I bet you guys do a marvelous tango…

  3. Uncle Don says:
    May 24, 2011 at 5:31 pm

    Well sounds good but I’m not sure, Colorado ski slopes are full of spies aren’t they? Oh, maybe thats fellow skiers.

  4. mom says:
    May 24, 2011 at 7:17 pm

    You put a smile on my face. I know you love your country but probably not enough to spy for it. And wouldn’t a mother catch on?

  5. Jen says:
    May 24, 2011 at 7:25 pm

    Plus then you’d actually be working more – and that sucks the fun out of vacation.
    But really, your argument was won with reason #1 😉

  6. UnexcusedAbsences says:
    May 28, 2011 at 12:12 pm

    @ Jen. You know us too well!